Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Today my boss passed me an interesting comment. She asked me why she don’t see me smile often… Well I was tongue tied at the moment. Didn’t really know how to answer her so I just smiled back. To think of that it has really been some time ever since I laughed my heart out. Yes a very long time. I have changed. I have changed from the once happy go lucky person to a pessimistic one. I don’t know what happened but ever since I started working, the everyday environment just continuously mould me into one. It is to the extent that I have to think of the consequences of every thing I want to say hence nowadays I preferred to keep everything to myself.
Frankly speaking, I have enough of all the public relations thingy. I was actually having this cold war with him but I got to give up because one of my senior colleagues started to notice the change in our behavior so as to avoid anymore misunderstandings I have to resort to telling my other colleagues that it was a misunderstanding afterall and I am not angry with him although I am indeed very mad with him.
Anyway he initiated the conversation yesterday on our way home. It’s a mixed feeling for me because on one hand, I am actually relieved that we are back to normal already but on the other hand, I am quite sadden by the fact that this guy can really change fast. Remember for the past week he just treated me as if I am invisible but now he can actually talk as if nothing has happened. But once things change, it’s going to be forever for me. I just cant bring myself to talk to him like the way last time we used to chat anymore. There is this cold feeling that lingers around me and I am not really ready to converse into conversation with him yet.
Think my weakest point is that I tend to trust people too much. I am sadden by the fact that I actually trust that person so much. So much so to the extent that I actually pour all my woes and worries and everything to him. Its not worth it actually….
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8:48 PM
