Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Something interesting happened at my work place today which i think its kind of hilarious. Spotted a baby lizard when i was tidying the fridge for storing the patient specimens and i am most afraid of lizards. Kinda brain blocked at that moment cos it's going to be very shameful to scream it out or even run out of my processing room so i decided to close back the fridge door and pretend something has happened. Haha
Anyway i cant stand the sight of the lizard crawling about in the fridge so i got L to help me catch it cos it seems that he is the only able bodied young man in our lab but i didnt expect that he is actually afraid of lizards too although he claimed that he isnt afraid of it when i asked for this favour. Anyway he kinda acted "man" and searched for that lizard in the fridge but when he finally spotted the lizard at the corner of the fridge, he was too scared to touch it and in the end he got uncle phua to help him. Anyway its kinda disgraceful for a man to be afraid of lizards right and moreover the lizard is already freezed to death, what is left is only the body of the baby lizard. So he actually exposed his little secret to the whole lab.... Haha
Morale of the story: dont act cool when u werent that cool at all. LOL
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9:11 PM
Monday, April 23, 2007
Went to my cousin's 21st birthday bash at Aranda Country club last sat. Its the same stuff as well but its just that this time round is my cousin's party so there were lots of relatives. People asked my mum the same old stuffs again such as whether am i working or am i studying, where am i working and whether do i plan to further my studies etc etc and one of the grandaunts even asked abt him and why i didnt bring him there. Is like since when have we become a pair, bringing him home once for family gathering doesnt means that he is my bf right. Anyway i just simply replied that he is only my colleague. In overall we still had a fun time cos someone suggested playing the balloon stepping game and my mum even participated in it so they were chasing and pulling each other's shirt. In the end my mum was the first to have all the balloons popped and she even broke her fan during the game. Anyway think its quite fun. Perhaps i can have some of these games in my party as well.
Anyway had my first journal presentation at work today. Was a bit jittery at first cos i am not familiar with the gagets and instead of having someone by your side to click on the computer, i got to control everything by myself. But had this sense of satisfaction cos it somehow makes me feel like a lecturer. Everyone was kind enough not to ask me any questions except L whom asked for my personal opinion on the conclusion of the journal. I was trying to stay calm although inside me is already jumping mad at him for asking me such a idiotic question. Anyway i just replied that i am in no position to ans his question cos i am not the one involved in the journal and the qns involves the costs and consumables so it will be better for him to ask the senior consultant for her opinion instead and true enough it got him tongue tied. Haha think i just found my inner sarcastic talent. Muhahahahaha
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8:33 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
To start, i have no words to say but of that i am utterly disgusted by him, disgusted by his words, disgusted by his actions, disgusted by his dressing even disgusted by his appearence. Anyway i am disgusted beyond words and i dont wish to see him and talk to him anymore!
Partnered with my best friend, W today cos my partner on roaster was on sick leave. Didnt knoe he is already trying his luck on my best friend until W told me what actually happened. It just happened a few weeks ago on that day that i am on leave, W replaced me at work and L actually have the cheek to go in and ask her whether is she free during that upcoming wkend and whether would she have a date with him. And of course, W just brushed off the question and replied that he is being very "funny". In addition, for the past few weeks, L has been asking her on her work and slowly venturing in her private matters that includes how much she earns from tution etc etc of which these in turn irritated her a lot. And the most stunning thing is that my friend actually saw himwith another girl shopping at parco bugis! The girl appears to be quite matured for her age, looks lanky and has short hair of which i think most probably is that air stewardess.
Its not that we are bickering on him or wat but taking a look at the things that he have done such as plewing vugarities at the HR personnel when he was unhappy with the pay thingy and yelling at our head of dept over some appriasal matter makes him a person of terrible character. And we were even told that he intend to have a gf in Singapore and another one in his hometown so that he can choose the best to settle down with. So he thought he is handsome? What the shit! I can loudly announce to the world that he is UGLIEST creature (although some pple may not be very pleasant looking, he may have a heart of gold and i do believe that's enough to make him a lovely person) on earth and i wont even choose this man even if all men on earth has died. To think he is able to plew vagurities at the pple means that he is capable of scolding them at any time when he is unhappy and to think he actually yelled at our dept head shows that he has no respect for the seniors (our head of dept is old enough to be his mother) and very bad tempered. Worst of all, its just disgusting that he actually tried his luck on everybody, its like no matter whether u are fat or thin, tall or short, educated or not. It doesnt matter... u just have to be a girl.
What the f***!
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8:30 PM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Work weren’t going very smoothly recently. Too many specimens, too little time and manpower. I am in fact very stressed up. Sometimes I am very frustrated by my partner cos she is very untidy and seeing her working in such a disorganized style really worries me. My best friend at work was transferred out to learn other things so I didn’t get any chances to talk to her. Anyway something really bad happened to me today. There was a particular case that includes aspirates from the thyroid and breast but I overlooked the breast lump one so I just assumed that all the slides and fluid comes from the same thyroid specimen and worst of all, the case was specially assigned to the head of our patho dept. Was called up to the head’s office for some questioning after she found out my mistake. Admit I overlooked the statement and I was quite careless but its also pure bad luck to think that I actually checked all the cases before submitting the cases but for that one, I jus don’t remember whether I checked it thoroughly or not.
However at least there is still something I am very happy about. Bought a biography book on the Thai King from Kino on Sunday. Very excited to start reading but I am just too busy for the past few days. Thought of carrying the book to work every morning so that I can read on the train but was kinda put off by that cos the book was quite thick. Anyway attracted a few glances from the pple in kino when I was paying for that book. They must be wondering why am I reading quite a serious book or will I understand rite. Didn’t really care what they are going to say about me. I paid with my own money and the Thai King is my idol so it’s always right to read up on one’s idol rite. Haha
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9:06 PM
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Yesterday was Friday the thirteen and its just plain coincidence tat the sole of my shoes gave way so it was flipping away as I walked. Resorted to stapling the sole back to my shoes cos it looks weird and I am wondering how to go home with that flipping sole. Luckily one of my senior colleagues, Emily, came to my rescue and gave me a new pair of the SGH shoes. Well its so sweet of her to spare me her shoes and ya I am touched by her kindness.
Anyway peiwen came back from japan yesterday and she bought me an amulet. She don’t know whether to buy me the one blessing love or work or studies or money so she ended up buying a general one. Haha Anyway its so sweet of her cos she knew that things weren’t going smoothly for me recently. I shall always keep the amulet by my side.
Gotta thanks u guys for making my day:)
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3:23 PM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Recently, I’ve been feeling very sinful cos it looks like I am not controlling my diet well. Been eating a lot and it jus seems that I got hungry very easily. Don’t know wat happened. Probably is stress. Take today for instance, I had a BBQ double turkey bacon meal and a taro turnover from BK for lunch today and think thats a lot cos the people around me including well built guys only had a normal meal. Felt very frustrated cos my dept head wanted us to stagger our lunch time and that means one of the two processing staffs got to eat at 12pm while the other eat at 1pm. And that is going to affect me directly cos I am permanently in processing while the other partner is always the rotating one. Most importantly, I hate to eat alone! Its just miserable and pathetic! Besides I am not even paid to be on standby during lunch time and its my lunch time, I should jolly well have my right to enjoy my lunch instead of waiting in the lab for that stupid one stop thingy! I hate it! The people just don’t treat the lab staff like human, so they thought they just need to pay a little extra and they can get the results in just 2 hours time with the processing staff and doctor on standby during lunch time. Unfair! Unfair! Unfair! At least docs got a nice pay packet but what about me?
I don’t knoe what is happening… Really. I am unhappy with my life. I actually admired the kids cos they are always that happy running and playing about without having to worry about life. My friends are starting university, be it private or overseas or local, at least they got a chance to further their studies. But what about me? I am still stuck down there, working harder than others but getting peanuts pay and with that peanut pay, I cant even afford to pay for private uni courses! Shit! I hate my life!
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9:19 PM
Monday, April 09, 2007
Met a few attachment students from sp today and its great to catch up and gather some of the latest news or rather gossips from them haha. Anyway think their batch only came in when we were in year three so there is still this 2 yrs gap between us. But they are the luckier ones cos they have the new building all by themselves whereas we can only see the building process.
Was a bit dissapointed to knoe that ms phoon left already and joshua sng went overseas to further his studies but he will be back after completion. As for the others, think things didnt really change bah. "Discussed" a bit abt B yang cos one of the girls apparently got called up by him into office for questioning due to some name calling thingy in her friend's blog. And that reminds of me of andrea and bh's blog. Its just funny that he still have the time to search for his students' blog. Anyway blog is something personal rite and they are still kids so wat for get upset by some childish name calling thingy....
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8:05 PM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Went to Cheryl's 21st birthday party cum chalet last night. Had a very enjoyable time down there and its nice to meet all the old friends from secondary school again after having lost contact with them for the past 4 to 5 years. Supposed to meet tong boon and madeline at pasir ris mrt, i was kinda jittery at first cos it has been 5 years since we last see each other, dont know whether will we still recognise each other or not. Luckily madeline didnt really change much so i can recognise her at the first glance but as for tong boon, i can say he changed quite a lot in the sense that he was quite sissy in secondary school but now he has become very manly and quite good looking. Haha
Took the shuttle bus to the chalet but we alighted at the wrong spot so we took the bus back to the mrt station before proceeding to cheryl's chalet again. Anyway all the transportation hussel took away 45 mins of our time. In the end, reached cheryl's chalet at around 5pm. Later on, met wei xiong and his gf as well as elisa n her bf. Played the poker cards and chatted a little before dinner. Hendry, Weilun, Simmay n Huilin only came after dinner. Took a couple of pictures and chatted up on the good old times. Remembered henry likes to fight a lot and he will always cry after that but now he has transformed into a young man and he has even taken an interest on photography. As for weilun, remembered him as a quiet and very small sized boy but he has since grown taller than me. And i just found out that lily is an aspiring police women. Was quite surprised at first cos i always remember her for being the "Big sister" of my class and she always got hit on the head by mr chong for sleeping in class. Haha Anyway they also kaypohed about me whether i have a bf or not since most of them are already attached. And wei xiong even told me to learn from him by going to lots of chalet and party cos he knoes his gf in elisa's birthday party and the girl happens to be elisa's best friend. haha
Anyway i really misses the good old times. Gotta thank cheryl for providing such a opportunity for us to gather once again.
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11:27 AM
Friday, April 06, 2007
Sometimes fate really makes things funny and unexpected. Why i still always met him at the mrt station whereby i am already trying my best not to take the same train as him? Anyway bumped into him at the station yesterday morning again and we walked to work together. He initiated the conversation on our way to work and below is what we talked about:
L: Morning
Me: Morning
long pause...
L: Remember the book "Tuesday with Morries" that u recommended last time. I finished reading. So u prefer the book on The Five People U Meet in Heaven or Tuesday with Morries?
Me: Five people u meet in heaven
L:Why?
Me: The five people u meet in heaven is more joyful than Tuesday with Morries. I prefer something more joyful. Long pause... Tuesday with Morries is too emotional for me.
L: No. Its not emotional at all. I actually prefer the latter. Long pause
Me: U dont understand.. I treasure my friendship and the people around me. Well there is someone in this world that wouldnt knoe how to treasure the people around them
Long Pause
And his facial expression kinda changed a bit so he quickly changed the topic to the price of the book, claiming that the price of the book is too expensive of which 7 pounds is enough for the people to buy sausauges and groceries. And later on he added that since the author is writing for passion, he should not sell the book at such a price.
Just realised that we actually dont share the same view. I dont like to talk about money. Although money is important, i dont ever put money in the first place of my life. Whats more important is my family and friends. Money cant buy us that. On the other hand, money to him is the most important thing and sometimes i find him rather calculative and irritating.
Anyway he wasnt acting his true self during lunch time cos he kept eating. Just imagine he had a plate of fried noodles with fried beancurd and ikan bilis, followed by wanton mee, followed by yu tiao and the "butterfly" and a cup of sugarcane juice. I dont knoe whether is he using his eating binges to act miserable or not. It just that my other senior colleagues were very worried for him cos he recently declared to them that he broke up with his gf already. Its not that i am being evil but if he is really feeling very miserable, he should be the one blamed for it and he deserves it. I wouldnt take pity on him anymore...
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11:34 AM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Today my boss passed me an interesting comment. She asked me why she don’t see me smile often… Well I was tongue tied at the moment. Didn’t really know how to answer her so I just smiled back. To think of that it has really been some time ever since I laughed my heart out. Yes a very long time. I have changed. I have changed from the once happy go lucky person to a pessimistic one. I don’t know what happened but ever since I started working, the everyday environment just continuously mould me into one. It is to the extent that I have to think of the consequences of every thing I want to say hence nowadays I preferred to keep everything to myself.
Frankly speaking, I have enough of all the public relations thingy. I was actually having this cold war with him but I got to give up because one of my senior colleagues started to notice the change in our behavior so as to avoid anymore misunderstandings I have to resort to telling my other colleagues that it was a misunderstanding afterall and I am not angry with him although I am indeed very mad with him.
Anyway he initiated the conversation yesterday on our way home. It’s a mixed feeling for me because on one hand, I am actually relieved that we are back to normal already but on the other hand, I am quite sadden by the fact that this guy can really change fast. Remember for the past week he just treated me as if I am invisible but now he can actually talk as if nothing has happened. But once things change, it’s going to be forever for me. I just cant bring myself to talk to him like the way last time we used to chat anymore. There is this cold feeling that lingers around me and I am not really ready to converse into conversation with him yet.
Think my weakest point is that I tend to trust people too much. I am sadden by the fact that I actually trust that person so much. So much so to the extent that I actually pour all my woes and worries and everything to him. Its not worth it actually….
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8:48 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Frankly speaking my mind is still in a blank. Its just that too many things happened in such a short while and i wasnt mentally prepared at all. There is no words to describe myself now except that i felt like a zombie or in other words i dont have any feelings in me. I just wish to travel overseas for a break.
Things are becoming quite awkward now esp since we still get to see each other in the same workplace. Perhaps i should be blamed for not controlling my emotions well. And for no apparent reason, he appears to be angry with me too so the both of us are keeping a distance from one another. To make matter worst, my other colleagues seem to sense something wrong with us esp for one of the senior colleagues cos he actually approached her to find out why am i angry with him. Anyway, i just found out that he eventually didnt bring the girl there. And i was jus told that he has a gf all the way in his hometown whom he told me personally that they had already broken up. However, I dont know whether is it a lie or true words from his heart. I have seen his true colours thus i somehow find it hard to believe him anymore.
Hope that time will eventually washes away all the unpleasant things and my colleagues wont talk about us anymore. Keeping a safe distance from him shall be the best way to protect my own reputation and dignity bah.
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2:37 PM
This week is a pretty upsetting week for me. First is the increment problem. Its such a pathetic incremen or in other words the money is not even enough for me to buy myself a decent blouse. Anyway the amount of increment that one gets boil down to the qualification that u have. No matter how hard u worked or how many years of experience u have, the ultimate thing is still that sheet of paper. Without it, the employers can still delay ur promotions etc etc. So my colleague whom is another poly grad decided to further her studies now. Researched on the courses offered by the private schools and i was kinda astonished by the school fees. I'm quite interested in the course offered by MDIS but its the most expensive one and i dont think i can afford that sum of money. As for my colleague, she is more interested in the Harward Institute cos its cheaper and more importantly its recognised too. Anyway i hope that i still stand chance for local university. Night classes shall be my last resort.
It is actually quite sad that I’ve just lost a special friend of mine. Nope its not he just passed away or things like that, its just emotionally i just felt that i lost a friend. I got enough of his sweet talking, empty promises, lies and words of encouragement. Why must u be the one always standing by me and encouraging me when i was at the lowest point of my life. Why must u always be the patience one listening to all my woes and worries? Why must u be so sweet enough to think of me and even buy me a necklace in the midst of Beijing's cold winter? Why must u be the one messaging me the first thing u reach Singapore? Why must u be the one asking me to follow u back to ur malaysia hometown? Why must u be the one bringing our photo all the way from singapore to KL just to show ur mother? Why must u do all the things that let pple misunderstand u? Are u really that nice? I actually dont knoe. But i can say u are actually a caprious one.
After all the things u did, there came another girl whom u claims to be ur guy friend from the same hometown whereas she is actually the sister of ur ex girlfriend. Why must u lie. Isn’t nice to jus say it out other than letting the fellow colleagues to leak it out? All these while, I treated u as a good friend and i always believe that friends shouldnt lie to each other but look at what u have done. Enough of all the messaging and talks about that girl to the extend that u even bring her to the outing organised by our fellow colleague. Didnt u promise me to give me a ride on ur bicycle cos i cant cycle but on other hand u are bringing someone else who doesnt knows how to cycle too. So am i right that u are trying to boast to us that u have got urself a air stewardess gf and i shall be the pathetic "lamp post". Ok enough is enough, For one thing that i got to clarify is that i am not jealous of u nor i need someone to give me a ride. I can always learn how to cycle myself. Its just that u are a selfish fellow. Anyway a colleague shall always be a colleague and there is a line never to be crossed!
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12:19 PM
