Monday, January 29, 2007
My sister's friends came over to my house for their project meeting and they were teasing each other and giggling away when I noticed the smiles on their faces. The smiles that reminded me of the good old days. The carefree and joyful life that i once enjoyed. I dont know why but hadn't been able to have a heartful laugh for the past few months. Dont think its raging hormones again.
Sometimes it makes me wonder is it worth it? I work harder than other people but my pay was much lower than them and all these dwells down to the only piece of paper that i dont have. Yes. Qualification indeed.
I was once at the junction of my life again. Counting down 2 days to the opening application date. I wasnt sure whether will i be able to cope with the challenges. I wonder will i make a right choice again cos i dont wish to regret. The contract is going to take up 8 years of my life. I just dont knoe whether am i suitable for the job. But due to circumtances, i believe this shall be the best route for me. On the other hand, i am afraid of rejection. Its going to be my second time applying. I certainly dont wish that i will get the rejection letter again cos it hurts.
I wish for someone by my side but looks like the people around me are slowly leaving for their own good. I yearns for someone who will at least give me some mutual support but it turns out that i was hurt time over time. There is no point yearning for someone that dont give me back the feeling anymore...
Anyway, human proposes, heaven disposes. I shall see what will happen eventually.
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9:18 PM
